


whoopsie daisy

by demiboyharrie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Fluff, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Succubus Harry, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:26:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demiboyharrie/pseuds/demiboyharrie
Summary: so maybe when louis’ surfing the deep web he buys a succulent named harry? and just maybe that succulent is actually a succubus?“Aren’t succubi supposed to be girls? I thought the guys were called incubi?” Louis asked, his eyes still hidden from view. He felt the bed beside him dip, and then felt a swift swat to his vulnerable tummy.“Ow! What the fuck, Harry?” He asked, his hands flying from his eyes, to help him sit upright.Harry glared at him, obviously unhappy with the change in topic.“Gender is so outdated, Louis, honestly. It doesn’t even exist.” Louis pursed his lips slightly, trying not to interject. “Plus you’re gay. It’d be a little hard for a chick to fuck your soul out of you.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted to write another pwp so i hit up my favorite [au blog](http://auideas.tumblr.com/nsfwauideas) and found a hilarious prompt :  
>  _Late one night, while browsing the deep web and impulse shopping, Character A orders a rare an exotic succulent to add to their plant collection. Except when Character A wakes up in the morning, they find Character B, a succubus, lounging around their apartment, and Character A realizes that they misread the word “succubus” for “succulent.”_
> 
> i don't have a beta so like apologies for any fuck ups. i am only one man.

It had been quite a long day for Louis. He’d woken early to make a meeting at the downtown offices, and hadn’t gotten a moment's peace since. Being a coffee-fetching, paid intern was the pits, but Louis had to pay his dues if he wanted to produce music someday.

 

It’d be worth it in the end.

 

Regardless, Louis had arrived at his studio apartment, easily unlocking the pale, faded blue door. He slipped in, chucking his shoes off and watching them fly across the room with ease.

 

The one room was a bit of a mess, if Louis was being honest. However, he kind of almost liked the messy, lived-in look his apartment had. It was cozy, and homey, and Louis found it incredibly soothing.

  
The walls were a soft mint, that he’d painted on a whim, enlisting his best pal, Zayn to help him. He was artistic anyway, probably enjoyed it even. Louis’ furniture was a haphazard mix of things his mom had sent him off with, and some charity store finds. For the most part they were quite hideous and a bit threadbare, but they did the job.

 

Louis flopped onto his mattress with a soft ‘oof,’ quickly grabbing his laptop from its charger. Earlier in the day he and Liam had been discussing the deep web. Apparently Niall had downloaded some new browser that had resulted in him finding a bunch of strange websites he had never heard of before.

 

Zayn had taken a look at his laptop, and nearly knocked Niall’s head off his body. Somehow that Irish fucker had gotten onto the deep web. Louis was thoroughly jealous. The deep web sounded sick, and he was not going to let Niall have all the fun.

 

So, perhaps Louis had rung Niall and gotten the information on how to download the browser. And, just maybe, Louis had decided to scroll through the deep web in the middle of the night.

 

***

 

Louis was dead tired as he scrolled through unending web pages advertising succulents. It was probably inadvisable to buy things from the deep web if you weren’t well-versed in the goings on of the place. But, when had Louis ever done something “advisable” in his life?

 

So with that thought in mind, Louis pulled out his only credit card, and purchased a little cactus. He was actually rather excited as he entered his billing information and his address.

 

The listing had no photo of the succulent, but apparently the seller had named it Harry. Which was even more precious than if it had merely been a cute plant.

 

Louis grinned, shutting his laptop softly, and gently placing it onto his bedside table. He was glad that he had the next day off, because he was chomping at the bit to to get his hands on little Harold.

 

He’d probably have to put reminders in his phone to make sure he watered the little guy. Louis was notoriously bad about killing plants. A regular black thumb, his mom called him.

 

Louis snuggled deeper into his navy duvet, rubbing his face against his silk pillow like a cat. It wasn’t long before the man had fallen asleep.

 

***

 

Crashing sounds pulled Louis from his slumber, and he immediately bolted upright, eyes flitting around the room quickly. He easily slipped out of his bed, reaching around for an old baseball bat he kept for emergencies.

 

He’d never really had a knack for baseball anyway.

 

Slowly, and quietly, Louis peeked around the partition that compartmentalized his studio into smaller rooms. He could almost make out a shadow in the kitchen area of his apartment, though it was hard to see around the furniture blocking his line of sight.

 

He could hear a person humming along to a tune he’d never heard. Without much forethought, Louis dashed from his bedroom to where the unknown invader was. As soon as he made it over to the man, he flung his arms back like he’d been taught to in little league. But, before he could move his arms to carry through the swing, the man had turned and snatched the bat from his arms.

 

Louis stared up at the mystery man in front of him, jumping up and down in hopes of getting the bat back. The other man held it up as high as his long arms could, and watched amused as Louis made a fool of himself.

 

After a few more failed attempts, Louis stopped, deciding that perhaps fighting with his hands would have to do. He reared back, preparing to punch the stranger. The other man rolled his eyes, dropping the bat and pinning Louis’ arms behind his back. His hands large enough that he easily grasped Louis’ wrists with one hand.

 

With an angry yowl, Louis began to fight against his restraints until he felt something hard pressing into his abdomen.

 

“Sorry about that, I get hard a lot easier now. Par for the course of being a succubus really,” the other man replied, modestly leaning back and away from the other man.

 

“What the fuck are you on about? Why are you in my house?” Louis asked struggling against his captor again. “I ought to kick your skinny ass for breaking into my apartment. I’m warning you I don’t have anything worth taking.”

 

The other boy began to laugh, loudly. It sounded as though the laughter was being forced from his lungs, rather unwillingly. His body shook as he threw his head back in glee.

 

After he’d finished guffawing like a pleased toddler, he returned his attention to Louis.

 

“You’re funny, man. The only reason I’m even here is because a Louis Tomlinson, at this address, ordered a succubus last night. And, so here I am. Because I’m the succubus.” Harry replied, his voice deep and rich like hot chocolate.

 

His words were so slow and precise that Louis couldn’t help but be enamored by the giant before him.

 

Of course that was until he had actually understood what the other man had said.

 

“Succubus? I could have sworn I ordered a fucking succulent. You know? Like a cactus?” Louis gazed into the other man’s soft, green eyes, thoroughly confused by the situation he’d found himself in. There was no way on earth that he had bought a fucking succubus. _No way in hell._

 

“Could you let me go now? I promise not to swing, I just want to go check what I bought last night.” Louis let out a long-suffering sigh as the other man released him.

 

Louis padded over to his laptop, booting it up to the website he’d been on the night before. He quickly scanned through, his eyes widening as he realized what he’d done.

 

“Well fuck me sideways, I really did order a succubus. I guess that makes you Harry?” Louis asked feeling more perplexed than he had since waking.

 

Harry walked closer, a soft smirk on his face. He did a bit of a twirl, causing Louis to take a closer look at his latest purchase.

 

For starters, Harry was rather tall, and lanky. He vaguely resembled a willowy tree, except for his hips. They seemed to be the exception with their soft, pudgy appearance, gently escaping from the tight black jeans he was wearing.

 

His top was a flowy, sheer fabric which left almost nothing to the imagination. Course it didn’t help that only three buttons were buttoned. Harry was extraordinarily pretty. In fact he looked like every fantasy Louis had ever had.

 

Louis sat down on the edge of his bed, his cock half hard from Harry’s display. He leaned back placing his hands over his eyes.

 

“Aren’t succubi supposed to be girls? I thought the guys were called incubi?” Louis asked, his eyes still hidden from view. He felt the bed beside him dip, and then felt a swift swat to his vulnerable tummy.

 

“Ow! What the fuck, Harry?” He asked, his hands flying from his eyes, to help him sit upright.

 

Harry glared at him, obviously unhappy with the change in topic.

 

“Gender is so outdated, Louis, honestly. It doesn’t even exist.” Louis pursed his lips slightly, trying not to interject. “Plus you’re gay. It’d be a little hard for a chick to fuck your soul out of you.”

 

Louis flushed at the mention of sex, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms.

 

“So does that mean if you fuck me, I won’t have a soul anymore?” Louis asked, peeking through his fingers, trying to sound braver than he felt.

 

“Well...technically i don’t really take your soul? It’s more like I suck the life force out of you? Like an aura vacuum if you will.”

 

Louis snickered.

 

“Is that what’s going to happen then? I’m not really in the mood to bottom.” Louis replied. Harry laughed again, a large crooked grin appearing on his chiseled face.

 

“Well technically speaking you couldn’t fuck the life force out of _me_.” Harry said with an odd smirk. Louis’ eyebrows rose as he cocked his head to the side.

 

“In theory, if I was the one doing the fucking, would I get to keep my life force?” Harry nodded, still smirking in glee.

 

“Hypothetically, the only way I could steal your aura would be to fuck or suck you. Avoiding that, everything else is free game.” Harry leaned forward a bit more, looking deeply into Louis’ eyes. “However, I’m very good at my job, Louis. I think that if I didn’t blow you at least once, it would be a waste of my talents.”

 

Louis’ eyes narrowed, suddenly suspicious.

 

“You’re just trying to kill me. Why should I let you anywhere near my dick?”

 

Harry sighed, laying back on the bed.

 

“I’m not very good at this gig to be honest with you. I mean the sex is nice, but I never get to be on the receiving end. And killing people is rather hard on my conscious. I was a tree hugger in a past life, you know.”

 

Louis nodded along, trying to detect whether Harry was telling the truth.

 

“Plus I’ve never had a meaningful relationship. Once I kill them, I have to go back to my master. Course no one’s ever ordered a succubus for themselves, least as far as I know.”

 

Louis’ left eyebrow quirked, as he laid back beside Harry.

 

“Does this mean you’re stuck with me until you kill me?” Harry nodded along, looking as unhappy about it as Louis felt. “I don’t much feel like dying, so maybe you could finally have that long term meaningful relationship. If that’s something you're interested in?”

 

Harry glanced over at Louis, a soft look on his face. He quickly moved into Louis, practically shaking in happiness. He hid his face in the other man’s neck, practically smothering the man below him.

 

Giggling, Louis ran his fingers through the long curls that were currently tickling his face. It was sweet how happy Harry was to get a break from killing people, in a sort of macabre way.

 

Harry was still vibrating against him, and he could feel him chubbing up in his pants.

 

“God, you weren’t kidding earlier were you? Already hot and bothered and I haven’t even done anything.”

 

Harry buried his head farther into Louis’ neck, a soft whine escaping his lips.

 

“Hmm? Practically gagging for it aren’t you?” He asked, softly canting his hips up suggestively.

 

Harry began to grind down on Louis in retaliation, working himself up more as his hard cock rubbed against the inside of his jeans. Louis had to hold back the laughter bubbling in his throat, quickly schooling his features into a more aloof neutral expression.

 

“Honestly Harry,” Louis muttered pulling the other man’s face up by a handful of his hair. “You’re _such_ a naughty boy. Now you’ve got me all worked up. What are you going to do make it better?” He asked, punctuating each sentence with a rough tug on Harry’s hair.

 

Harry was practically mewling at this point, his rhythm sloppy as listened to Louis’ soft, slightly menacing voice. His nose scrunched cutely as he considered how he could make it up to the very handsome man before him.

 

“Well,” Harry started rolling his hips with a bit more force. “I could suck you off a bit, get you nice and wet.” He heard Louis groan softly in acknowledgement. “And, maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll let you open me up for your big cock.” Harry finished by pressing his groin harder into Louis.

 

Louis easily slid himself out from under Harry, taking his time to slowly shimmy his boxer briefs from his hips, down his thick thighs, and all the way to the floor. Then with practiced ease, he pulled the neck of his shirt up, removing the offending garment from his body. He could feel Harry’s eyes following his every move, occasionally trailing down to where his cock bounced eagerly.

 

Without any warning, Harry was suddenly kneeling in front of Louis, his bottom lip pulled taut between his teeth. Louis watched him for a moment, noting how he waited patiently, despite the obvious desire in his eyes. It was rather impressive, if Louis was being honest. He’d never been very good at waiting, or doing what he was told. Harry, though, he seemed almost made for it.

 

Louis reached down, tugging his cock a few times just to fuck with the other boy. Harry whined pathetically, leaning forward just the slightest bit, almost as if he couldn't help himself. Finally, Louis took pity on the other man, inclining his head as an invitation to Harry.

 

Harry quickly leaned forward, nosing around the root of Louis’ cock. It looked like he was smelling Louis, which shouldn’t have been as hot as it was. Louis grabbed hold of Harry’s hair again moving his mouth closer to the head of his cock. Harry got the message, easily parting his lips for Louis.

 

He kitten licked the head a few times, causing Louis to let out a high-pitched whine. Louis canted his hips forward, his cockhead smearing against Harry’s soft, pink lips, a trail of precome left in its wake. Harry smirked before finally taking Louis into his mouth.

 

Caving in his cheeks, Harry easily sucked Louis down, his nose pressing into Louis’ pubes. Louis felt his knees shake as Harry swallowed around the head of his cock, and he wasn’t entirely sure that standing for this blowjob was a good idea.

 

He let out a shout as Harry pulled back, focusing his attention on the head of Louis’ cock. It felt amazing, and Louis was sure that Harry had to have the most obscene mouth in existence. Louis felt himself getting closer to release, but it felt stranger than normal. Not only was his whole body on edge, his muscles pulled tight in anticipation of release, but he also felt as if something else was on the verge of leaving him too.

 

Pulling Harry off of his cock, he could finally catch his breath. He sat down on the edge of the bed, trying desperately to make sense of what had just happened. He felt vaguely tired as if he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. But, it was more than that.

 

Harry followed his lead, leaning his head on Louis’ thigh as he tried to comfort the other man.

 

“Sorry about that. I, uh, got a bit carried away?” He placed a soft kiss against the delicate skin of Louis’ thigh. “You’ll feel good as new in just a few minutes, I promise. Your body’s just a bit shocked that it almost lost your life force.

 

Louis let out a shocked bark of laughter, and Harry laughed along, trying not to think about how he almost killed his only friend. Louis ran his hand through Harry’s hair trying to get over the shock.

 

“Well, I’m definitely never letting you suck my dick ever again. I don’t care how good you are at it.” Harry nodded in agreement. He definitely wasn’t ready to head back to the small room he lived in between jobs. And he certainly didn’t want to hurt the sweet, funny man he’d only just met.

 

“I’ve got an idea of what we can do in the meantime,” Harry said, a mischievous glint in his green eyes. He quickly discarded his top, and pulled his jeans off his body with only the slightest difficulty, his ankle catching in the material almost tripping him.

 

Louis laughed a bit, watching as Harry scrambled onto the bed, lying on his back. Harry smirked back at Louis, spreading his legs wantonly.

 

“Now I’m sure an attractive man such as yourself has to have some lube around here?” Harry said, his voice lilting up at the end to make it sound like a question. Louis laughed in reply pointing toward the first drawer of his bedside table.

 

Harry nodded, reaching over to pull a half-empty bottle of lube from the drawer.

 

“Someone’s been busy.” Harry noted a large smirk on his face as he poured lube onto his fingers. Louis flushed, a bit embarrassed at having been called out.

 

“It’s, um, just been me and my hand for awhile.” Louis replied sheepishly.

 

Harry tutted, “Well it seems you’ve bought just the cure for that.” He paused just long enough to press one finger into his hole. “Course no more blowjobs for you.”

 

Louis watched as Harry continued to move his finger in and out of his hole. It was a bit slow for Louis’ tastes, but the noises that slipped from Harry’s lips made it much more erotic. He sounded pornographic, and he’d only put in one finger! Louis was chomping at the bit to find out how loud he’d scream when he was full of cock.

  
With that thought in mind, Louis could feel himself hardening as he watched Harry press another finger into his wet hole. After a few minutes of watching Harry finger himself, Louis couldn’t hold back anymore. He felt like he was burning from the inside out and the only way stop the flickering flames was to get closer to Harry.

 

He crawled between Harry’s parted legs, sucking marks into the warm flesh surrounding his groin. After he’d left a few dark reminders he turned his attention to the cock in front of him. Harry let out a wounded sound when Louis wrapped his lips around Harry’s cock. It was a nice cock, long and with a nice weight. It was not too thick, just enough to stretch out Louis’ lips.

 

Louis pressed down, taking as much of Harry’s cock into his mouth as he could before he felt his gag reflex being triggered. Harry pushed a third finger into himself, bucking up into Louis’ mouth as he grazed his prostate. Louis spluttered, pulling away from Harry to catch his breath.

 

“Keep this up, Curly, and I might die from blowing you. We’ll have to ban head altogether.” Louis laughed moving away from Harry’s flushed cock, and leaning back on his heels. Harry groaned, pulling his fingers from his clutching hole.

 

“I guess next time you’ll just have to hold me down.” Harry replied smirking a bit. Louis’ breathing stuttered a step just thinking of all the ways he could prevent Harry from thrusting into his mouth. But, that would have to wait, he thought, filing it away for later.

 

Louis smiled as he reached over Harry for a condom. He grabbed the lube from where Harry had haphazardly left it after using it. He ripped open the package with his teeth, rolling the condom on with ease. Then he quickly poured lube into his hand, giving his throbbing cock a few brief strokes. He was feeling rather close already, especially after the expert blowie and Harry’s little ‘show.’

 

He lined up with Harry’s hole, pressing his cockhead against the slick skin.

 

“Shit Louis, hurry the fuck up.” Harry demanded, rolling his hips enough to cause Louis’ cock to catch on his rim.

 

“Fuck! All right, all right I’m going. Impatient ass.” Louis replied quickly pushing halfway into Harry. He paused, watching Harry’s face to make sure he was comfortable. His eyebrows were scrunched close to his eyes, and his mouth was open in a perfect circle. After a few moments his face relaxed, and he nodded at Louis.

 

Louis slowly pressed in farther, circling his hips hoping to find Harry’s hidden bundle of nerves. After a few circles, Harry jolted under him, his back arching up slightly in bliss. Louis smirked, pulling out just far enough to thrust back in, catching Harry’s prostate in the process.

 

Harry let out little ‘uh uh uh’s as Louis continued to thrust quick and dirty into his prostate.

 

Louis had never enjoyed a fuck as much in his life. Harry was warm and slick on the inside, and he fit around Louis like he was made for it. It was fascinating how Harry squeezed around him when Louis hit his prostate. Watching him writhe under him, while he fucked into him was enough to pull Louis close to the edge.

 

Putting all of his weight onto his left arm, Louis grabbed ahold of Harry’s cock with his right. He matched the hammering pace of his hips with his hand, twisting his wrist just so with every upward stroke. Harry had started to blubber a bit, his face pink, and his eyes watering.

 

Louis continued to stroke Harry until he heard him let out a high pitched moan, his voice tapering off into a sobbing sound. His body was pulled taut as he came all over his tummy and Louis’ hand. Louis continued to fuck into him, on the edge from how tight Harry’s muscles were squeezing him. He leaned down, trying to kiss the man below him. It was mostly teeth and tongue, but it was enough to push Louis over the edge.

 

He groaned as he came, his body collapsing onto Harry. With a choked sounding laugh, Harry began to run his fingers through Louis’ short hair. Louis rubbed his face against Harry’s shoulder and neck, happily nosing the sweat-chilled flesh.

 

When he’d finally come down from his high, he carefully pulled out of Harry, tying and tossing the condom into the trash can on the floor.

 

He rolled off of Harry onto his back, and laughed as Harry turned as well. Harry had wormed his way up against Louis’ chest, snuggling into him, tangling their legs together.

 

“Shit if that’s what I’ve been missing all these years, you’re never gonna get me off your cock.” Harry said tracing his fingers through the downy hair on Louis’ chest.

 

Louis chuckled, placing a soft kiss on the crown of Harry’s head.

 

“You say that like it’s going to be a problem, Curly.”

 

Louis smiled down at the succubus he had accidentally purchased the night before. He certainly hadn’t imagined this when he’d been shopping, but Harry was much better than some plant. Course he doubted he’d ever find a plant that took a cock that well.

 

Harry smiled up at Louis, yawning sweetly.

 

“I’m glad you accidentally bought me, Louis.”

 

Louis leaned down to kiss Harry on the lips. It was a soft kiss, just the slightest touch of lips.

 

“I’m glad I bought you too. Even though you tried to suck my soul out of my dick.” Harry honked a laugh, lightly swatting at Louis’ chest in mock offense.

 

“You’re such a little shit, honestly just let me cuddle with you. Not only did I not get any sleep last night, but now I can’t get any peace here either?”  Louis sighed, wrapping them up in the duvet, cuddling Harry close.

 

“Go to bed then, because I’m already preparing for round two.” Louis rotated his hips a bit so that Harry could feel him chubbing up.

 

Harry groaned, feeling his own body responding.

 

“You’re a menace.”

  
Louis smirked, “Your menace.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading and i hope u enjoyed !!  
> u can find me on tumblr [@tippingbrandy](http://tippingbrandy.tumblr.com/)


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